Ah, adolescence in the age of social media! At 15, our sweet little cherubs dive headfirst into a sea of distractions, mimicking TikTok demigods while soaking up masterclasses in cultural self-destruction. At 16, armed with their shiny new autonomy, they become connoisseurs of shots and curators of humiliating stories. And at 18? Here, take the keys to a car - because who doesn’t love mixing intoxication with tight corners? This isn’t an education policy. It’s a tragic comedy where adults, adrift in their own digital cluelessness, hand out responsibilities to teenagers like candy. What if we launched a digital detox bootcamp in the Vosges instead? Now that’s an idea.